Viral Memery
Post that hit the top of the front page of Reddit.
Post that blew up on Twitter.
Posted across numerous sites by complete randos.
Posted and reposted across Reddit numerous times, each time garnering thousands of upvotes.
One-liners and bad jokes
I don’t USE bathrooms. I treat them with the respect they deserve.
For years I wouldn’t watch Good Will Hunting because I thought it was about some guy going to thrift stores.
“Whelp, that’s enough reading for one night,” I say on the 30th page of a book that began with a 28 page prologue I skipped.
Stole a 30 pack from the corner store right before prom and during the dance I just stood there. That’s because guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Someone got on my last nerve years ago. And I gotta tell ya… living without nerves is super chill.
I just don’t see what’s so great about outstanding bills.
Sometimes I’m frank with people, and I’m super honest. Other times I’m Henry with people, and he’s really sweet and playful.
I’m never running late. Typically I’m briskly walking late.
I’m so embarrassed of myself I wouldn’t be caught dead at my own funeral.
I keep going to my doctor and I feel like he thinks I’m a hypochondriac. After my last visit he prescribed the silent treatment.
All zombies really want is a little piece of mind.
I’ve never swallowed my pride. It tastes terrible.
If you’d like to experience more pain, here’s my Twitter and Instagram
